愛し Means I Love You
by CambionKaaera
Summary: Based in a Japanese high school setting, Ayano Aishi, a young high school student, has never felt any true emotions before she bumps into a upperclassman named Taro Yamada, who is in his final year of high school. Ayano cannot believe her luck when she begins to fall 'head over heels' for the boy. Though, she comes to terms with the realisation of a girl falling for her Senpai.
1. preview

**_愛し means I love you_**

 _ **Preview**_

 _For as long as I could remember, I've never been able to feel any emotions. Happiness, sadness, love or grief. I've always been this empty shell of a young girl. Feeling like I'm nothing more than an apparition, my dreams and desires never existed._

"Ayano...?"

 _I don't know why I'd suddenly start falling for this upperclassman, I've only ever bumped into him once in my entire life at this school, I've seen him around the school but never so close. I remember that day, the day when I first bumped into him, his hair was a perfect cut and his eyes were like a lullaby._

"So…"

 _I remember hearing him apologise after we bumped into each other, both dropping our books, but only I fell to the ground. I must admit, it was my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going, I turned a corner only to have him bump into me. He helped me back onto my feet again, allowing me to grasp a closer look at his figure._

"This entire time…"

 _I remember him asking me if I was alright, I_ _nodded, of course, keeping my head low and grasping my own hands, that emotion. That was the first time I have ever felt any emotions, I was equivocal on the matter, I didn't know what it was at first._

"it…"

 _His benevolent manner, it was mature and warming, I never knew what it was like, to feel anything. But he, he made my curiosity of those feelings change, he made me feel human. When I returned home to my bed, I remember finding a note on the counter top, it was from mother and father. They explained their absence, meaning I'd deal with this 'issue' alone._

"you…how could you?!"

 _It was only after reading a few of my mother's old worn books that I came across something, a term that I dreaded, a word I was certain I would never experience. The evidence, the study, I searched far and wide for anything else, it's not that I didn't want to feel that way, it's not that I hated the feeling, I just wanted confirmation._

"Did… did you feel any remorse to what you were doing?"

 _I remember spending a whole night searching, checking, scrambling for answers. This was it, this was the confirmation I needed, the feeling I started to incubate inside of my soul. The next day, I remember meeting his childhood friend, scolding him in front of the school. I ended up feeling ambivalent about her, I knew that she liked him, being nothing more than a typical tsundere girl, first they become grumpy and aggressive, but it's only a wall to hide their true feelings._

"OR DID YOU JUST NOT CARE!?"


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Week one, Monday.

Cherry blossoms float gently down from the trees in front of the school, the wind was calming as many students walked on foot or rode their bikes through the gates of Akademi high, the reminder of a fresh new start to another year, the air is warming up as the sun rises further into the sky. I ride my bike down the pathway and follow the other students like marching army drones, few stay out the front of the school while many head into the main areas of the school, mainly to the roof or the school clubs. I chain up my bike before following other students out of the bike shed and into the main building, we all head for our lockers to change between our outdoor and indoor shoes, I reach over to my locker, grabbing out my blue and white indoor shoes and changing from my black leather outdoor shoes, before storing them into my locker. I pull out my chart from inside the locker as I store my bag within the locker, checking the timetable for the day, biology, physical education, chemistry and psychology.

I close my locker and head for the school roof top, normally I would head for the incinerator but after the delinquents came, and stole the area from me, I had no choice but to sit at the bench on the roof top. As I walk up the stairs I feel something pull at the back of my collar, flinging me down the stairs, the sharp edges of the stairs stung with every point of contact as I fell. I hiss at the pain and look up, noticing the brute with scars, blonde hair and a large black jacket which hangs from her shoulders. She is escorted by her group, a mix of boys and girls, some with masks and colour through their hair and others who you'd be able to tell are armed just by looking at them.

"You don't deserve to walk in the same area as me, got it punk?", Osoro Shidesu commands, looking down at me as other timid students change their direction away from the situation. I know well that any backlashing comments would cause for another unfair fight, I keep my head lower than hers as I try to stand and remove myself from her way. Before I could leave she grips my pony tail, tugging it back before laughing along with her group, kicking me sharply in the back, causing me to wince in pain as I fall to the ground.

"Crap!" A small delinquent yells out before tugging at Osoro's sleeve.

"It's sensei Kunahito! Scatter!" Another delinquent croaks, the group scramming off in different directions to avoid being caught by Genka, the guidance counsellor. Osoro just scoffs, crossing her arms before sparing the counsellor a smug wink, knowing damn well that she wouldn't care if she was expelled or suspended from Akademi.

"Miss Osoro, please come with me" Genka commands in a stern tone.

"I don't need you to hold my hand, bitch." Osoro spits at the counsellor's feet before walking past her, purposely bumping the older woman's shoulder roughly in spite. Genka keeps a close eye on the trouble maker before turning her gaze back to me, sighing.

"Move along now, there's no reason for you to be at these stairs in the way anymore miss Aishi", she says coldly, I've known sensei Kunahito since my very first class here at school, so has she. She knows very well that I do not endure to talk about my feelings and problems with people, not even a school guidance counsellor. Genka also knows that I am uneffected with most things that happens at school, bullying, harassment, exams, friends, family, nothing. Simply because I feel nothing, though she'd never understand those feelings, nobody ever will.

I am like a robot, emotionless yet able to exist, at times I ponder to the unknown, what it could be like to 'feel' things, to have emotion. It sounds peculiar to those who don't know me well, which is understandable, nobody understands me, though I don't normally use that term since it's so over used these days. I huff and brush my uniform from any dust I might have gathered from the school floors, before attempting to walk up the stairs again, this time with a great success without being disturbed. I slowly make my way up 4 several sets of stair cases before reaching the rooftop, turning the corner before locking eyes with another girl, who was reading a novella. Blue hair, red eyes and an expression that says 'resting bitch face', that's Kuu Dere for you.

I walk over to her and sit down next to her, greeting her with simple hello's before she return's the gesture, I then sit down next to her and pull out my phone, scrolling through the school website for any news and other web pages such as . Surprisingly, we are quite similar, she has the same kind of feelings as me, even finding normal teenaged romance and drama's a 'useless' human need. We sit on the roof top in a perfect silenced manner before the ringing chime of the school bell echo's through the nooks and cranny's of the school, a simple sign for the start of classes for the day.

"Yan-chan, what class you have first?" softly hummed Kuu as she places a bookmark into her book, marking her current page before closing her small novella. I turn to her as I stand up, walking into the halls and down the stairs with her back to the locker area.

"Biology, and yourself?",

"Language…" she hesitates before turning a corner without any warning, leaving me to walk by myself as I head back to my locker, grabbing by Biology book and a few pieces of required equipment for the class such as text books, pens, rulers and pencils. I then close my locker before walking up only one set of stairs and into my classroom, I then place my books into my desk and keep my ruler on top of the single seated stable before silently and formally standing behind the chair. I wait for the teacher as she commands us to be privileged to take our seats and begin, the whole class and I bow before greeting the teacher before sitting down and listening to every command that is given to us.


End file.
